Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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