The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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