So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
