We're like a lot better than the average bears
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
