Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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