i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize