Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize