just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize