just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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