Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
