shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
