if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
