so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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