I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
