just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
