Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
