So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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