sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
