new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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