On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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