I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
