covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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