Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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