Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
