Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
