if you like me you must not know who I am
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
