Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
