In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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