No awkward lesbian experiences without me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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