Jerry, you need to find god
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
