Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
