dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
