do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
