It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
