Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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