We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize