I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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