it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
