moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
