How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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