I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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