dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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