you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
