Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
