Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
