Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Success! We fucked roommates!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
