Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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