Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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