apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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