I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
