I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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