The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
two words: eviction party
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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