I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
