Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
