Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
