I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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