Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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