Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
