My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
