There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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