I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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