Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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