The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
PANTIES FOUND
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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