Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
