So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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